Why is it that I am always two steps behind what is going on in my own life? When I think things are perfect, I find out that my husband is sleeping around on me. When I think things are over, I find that my husband and I are making things work. When I think that I am going to do something for myself, I find an email.
You know the affair that my husband had? The one that I was sure was over? The one that I was trying to recover from? Well, last night I intercepted an email that she sent to my husband. She "needs" to talk to him. She says it's too important for a phone call or email, and they need to meet in person.
He doesn't know I can see his emails. How do I handle this without losing the only advantage I have in this craziness that my life has become?
How do I keep breathing?
What do I do?
Friday, February 20, 2009
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4 comments:
What do you do? No fucking idea :-/ Sorry.
But keep in mind that she may be trying to extend the relationship even though he is not. It happens, trust me, it definitely can happen. How he handles that is the key -- and trust me, he may fuck it up without wanting to (don't ask me how I know this...). But maybe he won't :)
Don't tell him you saw the email,continue to monitor, try to find out where they are going and have a friend of yours he won't recognize follow him to conduct surveillance. That's what I would do...then when you know what is going on you can proceed from there.
Best of luck!
@ hoodie - So far, he hasn't said a word to me about it. I don't even know what I think right now.
@ Kimberly - I don't know who I trust enough to do something like that, who may husband doesn't know. We've been together since I was in college. He knows all my friends.
He's already failed by not telling you about it. Straight up failed.
Once an affair has happened the offending party needs to go out of their way to re-establish trust. They need to report any contacts, etc, as a way to rebuild the relationship.
You need to confront him casually and see if he admits it. Act like you are just fishing and have a feeling. Give him the direct eye contact and demand to know if there has been any further contact. If he jumps up and down and swears no, then bust him and have it out. He's already crossed more lines with the lie, might as well have it out. He just lied to your face.
If he admits it, make sure that you tell him that he's damaged your trust by not fessing up and that from now on he needs to keep you in the loop, no matter what. Explain why that's important.
Just my two cents.
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