Ms. Inconspicuous

Being that over 50% of the hits on my blog daily are referred from The Seduction of Infidelity, I am sure that everyone reading my blog knows that Ms. Inconspicuous is leaving the blogging world, at least for the foreseeable future. I am one of an incredible number of people who are going to sorely miss her blog.

I know that this must seem odd, especially considering that I have been rather vocal on this blog about how hurt I was by my husband's cheating. But, it is very difficult to read her blog without being drawn in by the beauty of her writing, and then ensnared by the thoughtfulness of the content.

I have never met, chatted with, or spoken to Ms. Inconspicuous, but about a year ago I did exchange a couple of emails with her, although not in the blogger persona that I am currently using.

I came across the Seduction of Infidelity when I was searching through my husbands computer, and I found that he read her blog on a semi-regular basis. I went to the blog fully intending to hate everything about it, but wanting to see if DH was leaving comments on a regular basis.

The first post I read was about how Ms. I loved her husband, and yet thought that she was a better wife because of her extramarital activities. This struck a chord with me, because at that point the pain of my husbands affair was literally overshadowing every aspect of my life. I can't remember if I left a comment, or if I emailed her first, but I had to understand how she could possibly bring those diametrically opposing views into harmony in her mind. I hope that I was polite in the way that I worded my questions, but I have long since deleted those emails, so there is no way for me to know.

Ms. I wrote back to me the very next day, and in a very short email, laid the first stone in the foundation that I needed to build to allow myself to believe that my husband still loved me despite his affair. I don't remember exactly what her words were, and I would never even begin to try to recreate them, but I do remember her saying that despite her actions, she would be destroyed if she found out that her husband was having an affair.

I never left another comment or sent another email to her after that short exchange, but I did start to read her blog on a nearly daily basis. While I often disagreed with some of her justifications, I loved the fact that her posts almost always made me think.

Many, many months later, when I started to blog, I was shocked to find out that she was reading some of the things I wrote, and unbelievably flattered to be put on the sidebar of her blog. The comments she left for me here were as well written and thoughtful as the posts on her blog, and I always appreciated her taking the time to write them.

Since the identity, Seeking Answers, is different from the email that I had sent communicated with in the past, I never mentioned to her that she had helped me get through a difficult week in my marriage. But if you are still reading blogs at this point, I want to take this opportunity to say thank you.

Thank you very much for answering my questions and helping me to understand a bit better the complexity of love. Thank you for sharing your amazing writing talent with all of us who read your blog. Thank you for making me cry, laugh, and always think. You will be missed.

Good luck to you and your husband. I hope that this new chapter of your marriage will be more fulfilling for both of you. I wish you the very best.