Do you remember the scene in Pretty Woman, where Julia Roberts is negotiating her price for the night and what it will include. She ends her speech by saying, "I don't kiss on the mouth." To which Richard Gere replies, "Neither do I." Then, at the end of the movie, you know that they are going to get their happily-ever-after because they share a big, passionate, tonsils-deep kiss.
The movie was trying to make the point that was that kissing is often more intimate than any sexual act.
It occurs to me today, that DH and I rarely if ever kiss. We peck goodnight. He kisses my neck, I kiss his chest, we both are fairly giving in the oral sex department, but there is no making out whatsoever.
I miss the kisses, and I wonder what it means.
I agree with the Pretty Woman writers. There is something very intimate about a kiss.
I remember a time when we used to kiss for hours. A time when kissing was the main course, and sex was dessert. I remember kisses that made me feel like my lips were attached to my nether regions. There were kisses that made me tingle in the best of ways.
But no more. I tried yesterday to change this. DH was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, and I came up behind him and tried to get a little frisky. (I've been the one initiating sex these last few days - see my previous post.) DH was receptive, and took me into his arms. I stretched up to kiss him. Our lips met beautifully. My tongue slid against his, and I felt him take my bottom lip gently between his teeth. Next thing I knew, he was nibbling on the side of my neck.
I tried 4 or 5 more times to kiss him. Each time, he quickly moved away from my mouth to someplace else. He won't kiss me, but he certainly is not opposed to any sort of sex.
It makes me feel a bit like I'm his live in hooker rather than the woman he has vowed to love, honor and cherish.
Am I over reacting? Does this post just prove my paranoia?
It's probably a good thing I'm seeing a therapist today.
I don't know how to put a youtube video into my blog, so I'll just leave you all with the lyrics that have been running through my head as I wrote this post.
The Shoop Shoop Song
Does he love me I want to know
How can I tell if he loves me so
Is it in his eyes ?
Oh no ! You'll be deceived
Is it in his sighs ?
Oh no ! He'll make believe
If you want to know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Is it in his face ?
Oh no ! That's just his charms
In his warm embrace ?
Oh no ! That's just his arms
If you want to know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Kiss him and squeeze him tight
Find out what you want to know
If it's love, if it really is
It's there in his kiss
How about the way he acts
Oh no ! That's not the way
And you're not list'nin' to all I say
If you wanna know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
Kiss him and squeeze him tight
Find out what you want to know
If it's love, if it really is
It's there in his kiss
How about the way he acts
Oh no ! That's not the way
And you're not listnin' to all I say
If you wanna know if he loves you so
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
It's in his kiss
That's where it is
3 comments:
You know it's a bad sign. I understand because I miss kissing like that.
Since kissing *is* so closely linked with intimacy, could this be another facet of trying to "punish" you by pushing you when he does shut down emotionally--a la the last post?
Or is he never receptive to kissing?
@ jh0 - It makes me wistful just to think about it.
@ Ms I. - He is not "never" receptive to kissing, but it is very, very infrequent. In the past 2 years, I can count on one hand (with fingers left over) how many times we have really kissed.
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